pardon my language, but im feeling really fucked up right now. im in a pretty dark place right now. im not even particularly proud of what i wrote just now, but i had to write this before i ended up feeling it even more. ive had a really awful, bizarre, surreal, and emotionally trying last couple of weeks, and the last few days have only compounded the matter exponentially. i want to sleep. but the things we want and the things we get are almost never the same. i would tell you to enjoy, but theres nothing to enjoy here.