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I still think about you.
Everyday, really.
Sometimes it's just a passing thought;
A color, a scent, a sound.
And sometimes, well…
Sometimes it's much deeper than that.

The way you make me feel,
The way you blossom inside my heart;
A sickening hope flowing through my veins.
An inaudible gasp escaping my lips,
A plea, the ghost of your name;
Shapeless and silent.
And the only sound I can hear
Is the thrum of my hopeless heartbeat,
And the ragged breathing of another sleepless night.

In the morning I feel slightly better.
My throat still knotted just a bit.
My mind just a little hazy.
The only solace, really, is knowing that it's past.
I try not to think about tonight.
I pray you don't visit me again.
But He remains as silent as ever.

I still think about you.
Maybe more than when you were here.
And every passing thought;
Every color, every scent, every sound,
Becomes another scar.
Another heartbreak.
And another sleepless night.
i realize my topics are always very similar. but i cant really do anything about it. i wish i could write something happy too. anyway, as for a description, i woke up in the middle of the night again. another anxiety dream, of course. but through the tears i felt that i could capture how i was feeling, so i did. and this is the product. sorry its so depressing. i promise one day i will write something happy.
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:iconpalesile:
palesile Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
I had no idea that you were a writer too.... a phenomenal writer at that, holy crap. Beautiful, utterly relatable too. Though I know as soon as I start getting super involved in more writer's work, I'm going to get discouraged lol. So I'm going to watch you and then avoid all else! Shh.
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow thank you so so much, your praise means so much to me!! :thanks:

dont get discouraged, you are an amazing writer yourself. i get discouraged about my writing because the themes are so extremely similar, but i can only write how i feel. ive got a really bizarre writing process, basically my emotions dictate what i write. and i seem to only feel awful emotions lately. but honestly, you shoudnt get down on yourself, you really are a great writer!!
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:iconpalesile:
palesile Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
You're very welcome!

It doesn't matter if the themes are similar though, don't worry about that.

Honestly. Think about Edgar Allen Poe or Stephen King... they all have a talent for writing certain types of things or things with a certain mood, no? Nobody gave a shit if they were similar, they were all incredible.

Let your emotions flow, my broski.
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, i guess thats true. those dudes are pretty talented at writing.

and dont worry, regardless of my insecurity, i will definitely let them flow. and saying 'broski' is at least worth 15 cool points in my book :happybounce:
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:iconpalesile:
palesile Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
Score.

>:)
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:iconthelionandthefish:
TheLionAndTheFish Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
Gaaaaawd John, this is amazing! AGAIN! I can relate to it so well, maybe that's why I was hooked till the very last word. You are so good with words. Especialle the line 'a sickening hope flowing through my veins', that's just... Amazing. Well, definitely not 'amazing' that you're going through this shit, but it's amazing how I can really feel what you're talking about.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll write something happy one day. Good things will come your way, I'm absolutely sure, even though I don't even know you!
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow thank you so much! im at a loss for words from all your praise! :aww:

i hope i can write something happy in the future. id even settle for something not quite as depressing.

anyway, thank you again! your kind words mean so much to me :thanks:
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:iconpurpleanimeartfreak:
PurpleAnimeArtFreak Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Who are you always thinking about? It sounds like a strong feeling, but I don't know
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
its about someone who used to be in my life. i guess letting go is really hard. thanks for the fave by the way!! :dance:
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:iconpurpleanimeartfreak:
PurpleAnimeArtFreak Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah it tends to be sometimes. And your welcome (:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Student Writer
I don't think you should apologize for writing something 'depressing'... because what I see here is beauty shining through the pain behind this poem. :blushes: I especially like the lines
The way you blossom inside my heart;
A sickening hope flowing through my veins.


They're easy to identify with, at least for me.
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! your kind words really mean a lot to me. im sorry that you can identify with this though :( it comes from a real personal place for me, and combine that with my periodic inability to sleep, and i guess thats a recipe for a depressing poem lol. but youre right, i shouldnt apologize for it. im just super insecure about everything, and i figured people would get sick of me always writing sad stuff lol. but i cant write something i cant feel.

anyway, thank you again! :D
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
You're most welcome :tighthug: Please don't be sorry about that. It might've been an unfortunate ending for me (for both of us?) but I'd never want to trade in the good memories of that time... :blushes:

I know exactly what you mean by the last part, and I think it's a good thing - something happy you tried to write while actually very sad will probably show your true emotions anyway... just because it's not a happy poem doesn't mean it can't be beautiful... :huggle: as this one shows!
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thats a really positive way to look at it. i hope one day i can see it like that too. its just really hard for me to let go sometimes.

writing poems, for me anyways, has always been a spontaneous thing. my emotions are what fuels my words, not the other way around.

and thank you again so much for your praise :glomp: it really means so much to me :D
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student Writer
That's why humans grow so old, isn't it? You still have a lot of years to learn that :tighthug:

That's a beautiful thing, to have your words fueled by emotions... in my opinion that makes for the best kind of poetry. :iconsootheplz:
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i hope i can learn that soon :)

and i quite agree, the best kinds of poems are written from the heart :nod:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
:iconnewhugplz:
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