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August 30, 2013
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Summer is coming to its end.
The days are getting shorter,
Losing their color...
I need to get home.

Though I must admit,
There’s a certain beauty about it.
Living in soft-focus;
The autumn colors blurring together gently,
My not-quite-leaden heart still trying desperately
To keep pace with my mind.
It’s almost as refreshing as it is bleak.
Almost.

So I’ll come back to familiar.
I’ll come back home.
I like it here, you know.
However cheerless it is to stay here,
However heartrendingly numb it makes me feel,
I’ll take this over the terrifying prospect of change, any day.

It’s a twisted sort of solace I get from this place.
And I’ve learned to take that wherever I can get it.
Even if it’s here.
Even if it’s home.
hey look, i wrote something! and it's seasonal! with summer coming to a close, im pretty much feeling lamer and lamer each day. for those of you who dont know me (or havent stumbled across some of my earlier stuff), i should explain that i have seasonal affective disorder. so basically i get really down during the winter. and i guess it should follow that i get even more down whenever i know winter is coming, and can do nothing to stop it. which is every autumn.

so anyway, yeah, i wrote this. its pretty much just a very wordy description of how im feeling right now. but hopefully it sounds a little poetic to you. or at the very least, not trite and self-pitying. christ, i wish i wasnt so self-conscious. enough from me. enjoy.
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Student Writer
It's true - there's really no need to be self-conscious about this. At all! I can't explain why, but I found the last two lines to be particularly heart-wrenching... it's great. Really great. :nod:
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :thanks:
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:icontyrison:
Tyrison Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Student Writer
Wow.  That was incredibly beautiful.  Without putting your other works down in the slightest, I think this is one of the best pieces of yours I've ever read.  I love seasonal poetry, and autumn is my favorite season, but even so, this piece is astoundingly lovely.

I love the emphasis you made with the italics; it's not overdone at all, but just perfectly so.  Your line breaks are great, and I love how it comes back to home, even if only in passing, in each stanza.

This is my favorite part:

Though I must admit,
There’s a certain beauty about it.
Living in soft-focus;
The autumn colors blurring together gently,
My not-quite-leaden heart still trying desperately
To keep pace with my mind.
It’s almost as refreshing as it is bleak.
Almost.

The flow is slow, like the turning of the planet, the year passing, and it's very thoughtful and introspective.  I love the line "Living in soft-focus"; I completely understand it.

All in all, a wonderful piece, and totally worth the wait. =)  I hope you feel better about the incoming change soon. *hugs*
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i really cant say how much this means to me. thank you very much for reading, and even more for all the kind words.

autumn really is a beautiful time, and if werent for winter, itd be my favorite season too lol. and even though its a somewhat (or very) depressing piece, its really cool that you found something that you could relate to.

again, i really cant thank you enough for your kind praise. just knowing someone read my work is pleasing, but knowing that people actually enjoy it and think its good, it really does cheer me up quite a lot lol.

thank you again. and thank you for all the hugs! (here and on my profile) :tighthug:
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:icontyrison:
Tyrison Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Student Writer
You're very, very welcome.  Any time. :hug:

I feel ya there.  I mean, I love all the seasons, but Autumn is special to me.  To me, it wasn't so much a depressing piece.  It was more mellow, yeah, but it felt like someone who just wanted to be home, and it was a bittersweet longing for belonging, which was hopeful and incredibly beautiful.

You deserve it, really.  This is an amazing piece, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  I'm glad I can do anything to cheer you up. =)

You're welcome! ^^
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i really cant thank you enough. it really means so much to me.

autumn is a pretty amazing season. and im really glad you managed to find something hopeful in here. i really hadnt intended that when i wrote it, but i rarely have a "definitive" meaning to my work, and i always think its wonderful if other people find their own meanings.

again, thank you so very much. i must sound like a broken record lol, but after not having written anything (worthwhile, anyway) in like a month, and on top of all the other stuff, it really is quite heartening to see that someone actually likes something ive written. so thank you (again) :hug:
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:icontyrison:
Tyrison Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Student Writer
^^

I think that sometimes, the less definitive, the better.  I was always told as a younger writer that when I wrote poems, I needed to have something specific in mind.  While that is true to a point, not everyone needs to get the same thing from the poem.  I think one of the qualities of a good poem is that everyone can find something meaningful to them in it.  It really can go both ways; I guess that it just depends on whether or not you want to have people experience something very specific or not in poetry. =)

You are quite welcome. =)  I know how it goes, to not write things for a while.  Weird feeling, and it's hard to get back into writing, like doing something you haven't done for a while and finding that you've become a bit rusty at it.

At any rate, you are incredibly welcome!  I look forward to seeing more of your work. =)
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:iconellerysan:
EllerySan Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful! I love the words you used in this piece, John. It adds more beauty onto it .
Great job, Johnny. :aww:
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:iconfeekmasterson:
feekmasterson Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much ellie! :hug:
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:iconellerysan:
EllerySan Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Anytime, Johnny! :tighthug:
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