I move across the room slowly
To the dresser that still holds your clothes.
It’s not the only thing of yours that it holds.
And that’s why I’m there.
Today I realized it with utter certainty.
A certainty so tactile and penetrating;
The kind that clots in your throat,
And turns leaden in your heart…
I was always wanting just a little longer.
At the bottom of the drawer,
My fingers brush a small velvet box.
The corner of my eye starts to sting.
Grief is knocking.
I always find it hard to not invite him in.
My teeth cut into my lip,
After all, what’s one more scar?
They all belong to you anyway.
Just one more thing I’ll have for you
While I count down the minutes until forever.
I draw a faltered breath.
I drop to my knees.
I clutch the box tightly in my hands.
And memory cascades through me,
Turning to these bitter tears that fall to the floor.
Letting go is hard to do.
I guess I wanted just a little longer…
I guess I’m always going to want just a little longer.